I think I love my brother
by zatchandbeybladefreak
Summary: BLEACH, Naruto, Samurai Champloo, and Fullmetal Alchemist xover! I hate my brother, I HATE my brother, I love my brother...well, I think I love my brother. Well, that was what Envy was thinking anyway. Naruhina, implied Kibahina
1. Tell of the tell

This is a AU where Naruto has been adopted by Dante from FullMetal Alchemist and Naruto goes to Envy's school where's theres nothing but bullies mainly. Envy who is one of them seems to devolpe sympthapy for his adopted brother and the problem is that he's the toughest bully in school. Which leads to the title; I think I love my little brother.  
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Inside a mental instituation..."So what are you here for today?" asked Asuma, smoking on his ciggerate. "Oh he's probably here because of the usual, killing, robbing, stealing..." said Greed, showing that the list could go on and on. "Shut up he asked me not you, expect for that I think I'm going through some 'problems.'" Envy replied.

"What kind of problems?" asked Tobi. "I have a little adopted brother at home, he's like twelve years old. He's happy, socialable, cheerful, hyperactive, and to be honest," said Envy. "BORING," Greed, Asuma, and Tobi said.

"Yeah I know, but soon you all will be confused after I tell you this story..." started Envy. A few weeks ago... "Okay Naruto, today is your first day goin' to Envy's school what do you say when you meet a nice man?" asked Dante, straighting out the wrinkles in Naruto's uniform. "Are you my father?" replied Naruto.

"Bingo! now go out there before you miss your bus!" said Dante, sending him outside. "Bye momma!!" said Naruto, running outside. Dante wipped away a tear and muttered, "He grew up so quickly..." at the bus Naruto saw his older brother Envy leaning against a bus stop pole trying to stay awake.

"NII-SAN I HOPE YOUR AS EXCITED AS I AM!!!!!!!!!!!" said Naruto, quickly running behind him and nearly choking him when he hopped on his back. "Excited for what?" Envy managed to say. "You know...today I'm going to your school!" said Naruto.

"Naruto your not ready to go to my school," replied Envy, looking serious. "But momma says I am!" said Naruto. "Naruto how many times do I have to tell you that Dante is not your mother!" said Envy.

"I know, I may be adopted but she's good to me like a momma!" said Naruto, with a smile. "Nobody ever listens to me," thought Envy,  
leaning his forehead against the bus stop pole. "The bus! the bus!!" Naruto exclaimed, hopping up and down.

"Oh goodie," said Envy, scarcasticly. Naruto ran onto the bus as soon as the door opened while Envy took his time. "Where do ya wanna sit nii-san?!" asked Naruto.

"I prefer to sit alone, it's quiet that way," said Envy. "Aw nii-san don't be like that!!" said Naruto. Envy groaned as he heard some of the popular kids mutter and tease in a Naruto voice, "Nii-san, nii-san!" "Envy, I didn't know you were actually socialable!!!" said Edward Elric, a child who was around Naruto's age.

"Oh Ed, I didn't know you got short over night either!!" replied Envy, looking calm and innocent. "WHO ARE YOU CALLING SHORT!?!?!?!?" screamed Ed. "Break it up kids, now one of you take a seat already!" said the bus driver about to drive off.

"Well nii-san how about-" started Naruto, until Envy took off running to the back of the bus. Naruto walked down trying to find a seat until the bus driver hit a bump on the road and Naruto fell down on Ed. "Sorry about that," apoligized Naruto.

"It's okay, here you can sit next to me," said Ed, offering him a seat. Naruto nodded and sat next to him and said, "My name is Naruto"  
"Mine is Edward Elric...so what's with the whole nii-san thing?" "I'm adopted, Envy's my big brother," said Naruto. "I have a brother too, his name is Alphonse but he doesn't go to this school.

He calls me nii-san all the time too!" laughed Ed. Naruto also laughed and asked, "Tell me what's this school going to be like?" Ed looked shocked for a minute and he replied, "It's going to be the tough for you and possibably me," "What why?!" asked Naruto. "New kids are easily a target to pick on, sure I've been here since kindergarden but I've been picked on by my size," answered Ed.

"Tell me, who are the bullies?" asked Naruto. "Well there's a lot, but your nii-san Envy is one of them!!" said Ed. "A...alot?!" asked Naruto.

"Yep," replied Ed. "And here's another one Kiba Inuzuka, sure he may be our age but he's just as worse!" Edward finished. "I-Inuzuka"  
stuttered Naruto, he had heard of them before.

Back before Naruto was born their were rumors that the Inuzuka family had the power to control dogs, but now it was a extreame doubt since some Inuzukas are rarely scene with dogs outside. "The school is a dangerous place Naruto, remember that," said Ed, as he touched Naruto's shoulder. "...hey speaking of the school here we are!" said Ed, as he looked out the window.

Naruto wanted to scream but instead he kept his mouth closed.  
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So what do you think so far of the first chapter? was it horrible? good? or what?? and the title is a paordy of the new Chris Rock Movie;  
I think I love my wife. 


	2. First days suck

Okay my favorite man in BLEACH aside from Ichigo, Toshiro Hitsugaya is here!!

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Naruto walked through the halls of his new school, a bit nasuicous from what Ed had told him. Naruto put his hand on the doornob staring at the door as if his life depended on it. "Excuse me but are you going to go in or what?" a boy from behind him hissed.

"Of course I'm going in why not?!" asked Naruto, until he relised it was only a kid that looked like he was in a bad mood. "Hey, your the new kid," the boy said. "Yeah," Naruto manged to say.

"Listen, you seem pretty helpless and we're in the class so I guess I'll tell you my name...it's Toshiro Hitsugaya," "My name is Naruto Uzumaki!!!" Naruto opened the door and saw Ed waving out to him, he was sitting in the back row next to a empty seat. "Hitsugaya it's good to see you coming back this year and you must be the next student Naruto Uzumaki," said their teacher, Gin Ichimaru. "Whatever," replied Toshiro, taking a seat.

Naruto sat down next to Edward in the back row. "Listen up that's the teacher Gin Ichimaru, he's kind of creepy all smiles and he always

keeps his eyes closed," whispered Ed. "That is creepy," replied Naruto.

"And I see you met Hitsugaya, he's kind of mean kind of nice but he's not a bad kid actually," Ed said. Naruto noticed that one of the

boys in the front row where getting worshipped by all the girls. "Who's he?" asked Naruto.

"That's Sasuke Uchiha. He's kind of like a pimp ALL the girls love him," said Ed, rolling his eyes. "How about the girl with the white

eyes, she's kind of cute," said Naruto, trying not to blush. "Hinata Hyuuga, she's nice and shy her cousin is in the next grade," said Ed.

"Is her cousin mean?" asked Naruto. "He always speaks about fate, but yeah," Ed replied. "Uzumaki aren't you listening?" asked Ichimaru.

"Hm?" asked Naruto, raising a eyebrow. "I said talk about yourself to the class," Ichimaru reapeted. Naruto stood up and said, "My name

is Naruto Uzumaki...my brother is in the nineth grade he's Envy..." some of the kids looked a bit pale or shocked.

"How is the green head related to a blondie?!" asked Kiba. "...I'm adopted," said Naruto, not feeling afraid of this Inuzuka kid now. "Ki-kiba leave him alone," begged Hinata.

"He's askin' for it!" said Kiba, between his teeth. "Boys stop it this instent!!" ordered Ichimaru. "Naruto, don't bother he's just a jerk," said Ed.

Naruto, had very high pride and wouldn't lose his pride to him. "What's the matter? why don't you be like your brother and fight? are you afraid?" asked Kiba, with a laugh. "WHY WOULD I BE AFRAID OF SOMEONE LIKE YOU?!?!" asked Naruto, who had just now found himself punching Kiba in the face. Kiba stopped laughing and relised what happened to him and Hitsugaya said, "Naruto is in serious trouble now," "We just can't watch this let's do something!" said Edward.

Hitsugaya nodded as Kiba threw a few swings at Naruto, already beating him up. Edward found a big thick book and threw it up Kiba's head making him get hit. "Hey who do you think your dealing with?!" asked Tayuya, a girl who also was also friends with Kiba.

"BREAK IT UP!!!!" Ichimaru screamed, breaking up the bad fight that was about to happen. "Because your new Naruto, but that doesn't mean

you can be like your brother Envy and start fights with people so your just going to detention all three of you," said Ichimaru. Edward

groaned, Hitsugaya sent a death glare to Naruto, and Naruto looked depressed.

"Fine then..." all three of them said. Ed, Hitsugaya, and Naruto all growled at the same time when they heard Kiba snicker at them. "Nice going stupid," Tayuya teased.

"Oh, did I mention that you and him were going to detention too?" asked Ichimaru, not forgetting about them. Tayuya said a long string

of curses that seemed like they wouldn't end anytime soon. Little did Tayuya know was because of that she would stay in detention

longer.

"Okay, when do we go?" asked Hitsugaya, crossing his arms. "What time is it Sakura?" asked Ichimaru. Sakura, who actually had a crush

on her teacher stuttered, "A-about nine o'clock," "Oh well, I guess you all won't make it out to recess!" said Ichimaru, with a flash

of a smile.

"Stupid! stupid! stupid!" growled Hitsugaya. "Calm down, he's just a new kid," said Edward. Hitsugaya replied, "I don't care if he's

the principal he started the fight," "Okay guys line up, time for the restroom break," said Ichimaru.

They all groaned and walked to get in one line together. Hinata stood behind Naruto, not to be cheating on her boyfriend Kiba or

anything but she was a bit impressed by Naruto's braveness. "Hm hi...it takes a lot of courage to stand up to somebody like Kiba,"

said Hinata, shyly.

"Oh hey, your Hinata aren't you?" asked Naruto, trying not to blush. "Y-yes," Hinata replied. "My name is Naruto, but why do you like

a jerk like Kiba?" asked Naruto.

"We've known eachother for a extreamly long time and I don't know why he acts this way...he's really nice," said Hinata, truthfully. "Well

Hinata, I hope we can be friends!" said Naruto, turning around trying not to get in trouble. Hinata blushed at that statement and

thought, "I would like that alot Naruto," in the hallway Naruto secretly wondered off without letting Edward or Toshiro see him,

Kiba would have tried to beat him up he went into the boys restroom but instead he decided not too.

"Naruto!" Envy said, leaning against the wall with his uniform off and he was wearing it the way girls would around their waist. "Nii-san

are you high or somethin'?" asked Naruto, raising a eyebrow. "Nah, I don't do drugs...YET," said Envy.

"Yeah your high," said Naruto, standing next to him. The reason why Envy was so happy was because in class Mugen tried to challenge him

in the class to a fight and Envy won, nothing unusual for him. "Hey you have a scar on your pants, you fought somebody!!" said Naruto.

"Your right kid, he did fight somebody. He fought me," said Mugen, walking behind Naruto. "But why are you two together now!? aren't

you enemies?!" asked Naruto, achknowledging the fact that Envy barely got along with anybody.

"I'm not getting a good yelling by Dante when we get home, we only fight outside," said Envy. Mugen nodded and said, "Yeah, but next

time I'll win," "No I will like in class!" "It was a cheat and you know it!" "Shut up palm tree!" "At least I BRUSH my hair!" Naruto

said, "But nii-san listen! I'm in detention!!!!" "Your in...detention?" asked Envy, surpised. "Yeah, for fighting Kiba," said Naruto.

Envy whistled and said, "I reccomend adovding him," "But he called you green head!" said Naruto. "KILL HIM! KILL HIM! KILL HIM!!!"

screamed Envy. "Calm down, you sound like my cousin Fuu on a good day," said Mugen.

"I gotta go to class before anybody notices I'm gone!" said Naruto. "Well try not to get in trouble!" teased Mugen. Naruto sighed and

ran back in line just when then where about to leave.

"Envy, tell me what do you think of your brother being well...abused by Kiba?" asked Mugen, looking at Envy who had a strange expression on his face. "Well...Naruto is gonna to get f up!" laughed Envy.

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Poor Naruto has got it tough and not even Hitsugaya will cut him some slack...


	3. Mugen sings, Envy tells, Naruto punches!

I'm trying not to make Envy be OOC and I'm trying to make Mugen not be that way either, but if I am you could at least review and tell me how to improve them. Oh, and Naruto isn't adopted his father married Dante and then he died in this story.

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"Oh come on Envy why don't you have emotions?" asked Mugen, but then again he never cried in his life. "I don't know! I just feel the urge sometimes to find somebody and beat them up!" Envy replied, cluching his fists. "You mean like that kid over there?" asked Mugen, pointing to Udon.

Udon turned around and peed in his pants at the sight of Mugen and Envy who did nothing but stare at him. "Do you care now?" asked Mugen, fallowing Envy. "Nope," "How about now?" "Nope," "How about-hey who's that blond kid in detention?" asked Mugen, peeping into the room.

Envy peeped into the classroom and saw Naruto, Hitsugaya, and Edward. "This is all your fault," said Hitsugaya, for the tenth time. "Toshiro, shut up!" Edward ordered, since both he and Naruto were sick of it.

"Hey children," said Envy, walking into the room with Mugen. "Oh god no..." said Edward, as he quickly put on earphones and began to listen to music. "Envy, Mugen, what are you two here?" asked Jin, who was in charge of the students in detention.

"Riza sent us out because we were fighting and we both got nearly shot in the back if we didn't leave. I'm just trying to do a good thing for once and nobody appreciates it," said Envy, with a frown. "Just don't bother anybody...because I will fight you," Jin warned, still sounding calm.

"Not like we care anyway, after the times we've got in trouble," said Mugen, also frowning. It was true, Mugen and Envy had known eachother since they were babies because they lived near eachother. They weren't exactly rivals, but Envy refused to have him as a friend and Mugen also refused it since they were both stubborn.

Yet, for some reason both Mugen and Envy both got in and out of trouble together in school. "What are you listening to chibi-san?" asked Envy, leaning over Edward as if they were a couple. "You call me short I'll rip off that long girl hair of yours," Ed whispered, trying to stay out of trouble.

"I'd like to see you try!" Envy replied, as both he and Mugen took out a knife in warning. "Nii-san..." Naruto groaned, as he saw the knife. "Fine then, Mugen put the knife away," Envy said, sounding a bit sad.

Mugen groaned and began to mutter something. "But what are you listening to?!" Envy pleaded, really wanting to know. Edward frowned and blushed since he said, "I-I'll let Mugen hear it before you do!" "Let Mugen hear what?" asked Mugen, raising a eyebrow.

That's when Mugen heard a blast of music and his eyes widdened as he stared at Edward and sung, "I'm a barbie girl...livin' in a fancy world..." everybody stared expect for Ed, who was putting his face down in the desk in embressment. "Barbie girl...oh come on now," Envy said. "Why are you listening to girl music?" asked Hitsugaya, raising a eyebrow.

"Oh Ken I love you..." Mugen continued, still in a singing transe even though the next song playing was Glamorous by Fergie. "I...I didn't do it! my sister did it I lost my CD player and she switched it!!!" Ed lied. "You don't even have a sister, unless Alphonse 'magically' turned into a girl," said Envy, with a chuckle. 

"How do you know Edward?" asked Naruto, curiously. "I've been tormenting chibi-san and his brother ever since he came in here kindergarden," Envy answered. "Why??" asked Hitsugaya.

"Haven't you ever had the feeling that your suppose to do something and you don't know why?" asked Envy, glancing at the door seeing Hohenheim of Light looking at him for some reason. (No, Envy is not related to Ed and Al like in the show. Envy's father is unknown in this story)

"We flyin' first class, up in the sky!" Mugen sung. Envy quickly changed the subject and said, "Boys make good music too, Edward," "Envy you listen to music?" asked Hitsugaya, his only answer was Envy taking out his CD player and handing it to Ed. "Yeah," Envy answered.

"I bet he's always listening to goth music," said Hitsugaya. Ed and Naruto lightly chuckled and Envy replied, "I listen to all kinds of music...it depends if I like it or not," "Oh so you listen to R. Kelly!" Ed joked. (No offence R. Kelly fans) "If you ain't got no money take your broke-" Mugen started, until everybody minus Kiba and Tayuya said, "Shut your mouth!!" "Listen chibi-san! listen!" Envy ordered, putting the headphones on his head.

Ed muttered, "Don't call me that..." he heard music start, it was a strange song but it was a song regardless. "What's the name of this song?" asked Ed. "It's called Like Humans Do by David Bryne, it's strange but it's good after you hear it for a while," Envy explained. 

Naruto grinned, he didn't see why Envy was a bully since he was kind of a nice guy sometimes anyway. "Hey Naruto, what's up with those two over there?" asked Envy, noticing the scowls on Kiba and Tayuya's faces. "That's Kiba Inuzuka, I got into a fight with him almost," Naruto replied.

"Naruto it's your first day and your already fighting?!" asked Envy. Naruto blushed and Mugen took off the headphones and said, "See Envy, you two are related by blood. You got into a fight on your first day too," "You did?! with who!?" asked Naruto, getting excited even Hitsugaya looked amused.

"Well I think it would be too violent for you kiddies," answered Envy, leaning back in his hair with a smirk. "Tell us!" said Naruto and Edward in unsion. Mugen rolled his eyes and Hitsugaya said, "Even I want to here it, tell us," "Okay it began like this..." Envy started, taking a deep breath.

**_A twelve year old Envy stepped into Ichimaru's class looking annoyed and mad for two reasons. 1) his step dad Arashi Uzumaki had just died and his mother Dante left his six year old step brother Naruto all alone in the house and 2) he wanted to stay home and NOT come to school. "Class this is Envy Uzumaki," Ichimaru stated. (Hm...Envy Uzumaki sounds just a bit intresting...)_**

"I'd prefer if you wouldn't use the last name Uzumaki, just call me Envy," he ordered. "Well you tell the class about your self?" asked Ichimaru. "Creep..." Envy muttered, as he walked over to Mugen's desk and slammed his fists on it since Mugen sat in the front where the board was.

"Listen up and listen good, my name is Envy and I'm a boy...that's all I can really say." "...why are you touching my desk?" asked Mugen, in annoyance. "But you look like a girl are you gay?" asked Kabuto. 

**_  
Envy growled ran up to Kabuto and began kicking him in the stoumach possibably hurting some of his organs. "DON'T CALL ME GAY YOU FOUR-EYED FREAK!!!!!!!" screamed Envy.  
_**  
"What happened next?" asked Hitsugaya. "I beat him to a pulp of course Shiro-chan until he had to go to the hospital," Envy answered. Edward chuckled at the nickname, nobody called him that expect for his big sister Momo Hinamori.

Hitsugaya growled at Envy and said, "I'll let that pass..." "Envy you liar!! you beat up Kabuto until you were dragged away by Ichimaru and me! and Kabuto was just fine," said Mugen. "Hush! I was in the middle of a WONDERFUL story," said Envy, with a frown. "Listen class, I'm going out for a minute and don't get in trouble," said Jin, standing up.

They all nodded and Envy suddenly chuckled. "What are you thinking?" asked Mugen, rolling his eyes. "Come on Mugen let's get out of here and go see what the others are doing before four-eyes comes back!" Envy said.

Mugen nodded and soon he and Envy ran out the room in a flash. "I gotta use the restroom, I'll be back," said Hitsugaya. "Me too! wanna come along Naruto?" asked Edward. 

"Nah, I'll be fine," Naruto replied. "Okay then," said Edward, as he and Hitsugaya both ran out also. "Your nothing like your brother," said Kiba, leaning over Naruto's shoulder.

"Shut up Inuzuka," Naruto hissed. "The only thing you have like your brother is all talk and barely action," Kiba finished. Naruto suddenly slammed Kiba hard in the nose.

"Happy now?" asked Naruto. Kiba growled as a bit of blood poured out and Naruto the signal to run out the room since both he and Tayuya ran out.

To be continued!  
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Poor Naruto has went through nothing but trouble since his time through that school. Next chapeter is going to have the fight scene.


End file.
